Craigslist Ads

I have been know to place ads on craigslist to sell various things or promote various services and have had tremendous results. Occasionally I look at the other ads to see how mine look in comparison.

I have posted a few I looked at today that caught my eye. Yes, there are people out there more weird than you and I. Unless you are the hugger ad placer. That is just super weird.

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I don’t really get this one. Not sure if it is creepy, weird or fictional. Maybe it is all 3?

Professional Hugger Wanted (Tampa Bay )
Date: 2009-12-08, 12:22PM EST
Reply to: job-fu3tr-1500647749@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

I need a guy (or a girl), preferably a male because these hugs can sometimes get out of control requiring lifting of 100 lbs or more. This candidate should be well networked in the south Tampa club scene, and know how to throw hugs around like it’s a 24 hour wedding or funeral. This individual should be self-sufficient in promoting and have the ability to ride coatails like Tony Hawk in the X games. Because of the nature of this job, hugging, this individual ideally should be between 5′11 and 6′3 and of athletic build.

* Location: Tampa Bay
* Compensation: $10.00 an hour
* This is a part-time job.
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

pro hugger. i like hugs and all, but have never considered turning pro
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Now if only I was a waitress, I could work for commission and tips at a hot dog cart.

hot dog cart waitress (tampa)
Date: 2009-12-08, 12:33PM EST
Reply to: job-e8h9w-1500679774@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

looking for waitress for small hot dog cart-o.k spot but looking for better location-THIS PAYS ON COMMISION AND TIPS ONLY-the right person will probably do o.k-easy job,but looking for someone that want’s to make money-look good and be clean is your best bet-room to make more with right attitude-pay daily- am taking appts for the next hr. or so,then I’ll pull the ad . Thank you,Jeff 813-966-2380

* Location: tampa
* Compensation: commiission and tips
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1500679774

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This is one of my neighbors. I dont think pet alligators are legal are they? Sounds like you need hazard pay actually.

Animal (Reptile) Care-Taker (St. Pete (Pinellas Point))
Date: 2009-12-08, 12:17AM EST
Reply to: job-d7kwg-1500……@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

We will be going out of town for about a month and will need someone to look after some animals. We will be able to meet beforehand to show you what to do. We would need you to check on the following tanks to make sure the animals are in there and ok. Make sure they all have water and mist the Frog & Tarantula tanks with spring water. Feed pellets to Fish and Turtles. Feed crickets to Lizard, Tarantula, Frogs & Baby Alligator. Feed Greens to Lizard. Feed Thawed fish to Fish. Top off tanks with de-chlorinated water if necessary. This would be 15-20 minutes of work each time. Twice a Week from December 28 to January 16. This would mean coming out approximately 6 times total. Compensation will be $60 and will be given upon return.

2 Fish Tanks
1 Lizard Tank
1 Snake Tank
1 Frog Tank
3 Turtle Tanks
1 Tarantula Tank

Must have experience with reptiles and/or fish. Please respond with a list of animals you have worked with, jobs you’ve had, experience, and references. Other opportunities may be present in the future. Please email information.

* Location: St. Pete (Pinellas Point)
* Compensation: $60
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 150…..

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This is sort of cheating as I found it on the Best of Craigslist, but it is silly regardless.

Originally Posted: Mon, 28 Sep 15:27 CDT
I Will Help You Teach Your Cat to Walk On a Leash
Date: 2009-09-28, 3:27PM CDT

Well, there are no guarantees, but it can be done. I am a dog person by nature, but have slowly taught my cats to walk on a leash outdoors. So many people have stopped and said, “‘I’ve always wanted to do that, how did you you do it?” that I figured I might try to pass on some knowledge for a minimal fee.

Walking your cat is great fun, and they love it. One of mine took to it right away and still sits meowing at the door to go out; the other, who I got when he was older, was terrified of the outdoors at first, but has come to love it. Most felines would love to be outdoors, smelling and feeling new things, even if they’re scared at first. Most people just don’t give them the chance.

Cats after three years old may not be able to acclimatize to the outdoors and all of its stimuli; some cats hate the harness; and others may just be housecats, pure and simple. Them’s the breaks.

Teaching them how to walk takes time and patience, but it is rewarding. I should add that they rarely walk completely like a dog (i.e. your cat won’t jog next to you), and will sometimes decide, “Hey, let’s slow down and lay down here for a while, this bush smells good,” you can train them to walk alongside you on a leash for long periods of time. Once they get that first taste, they love it.

And once you can do that, you can take your cat to the beach, to the park, to the lake, etc. A whole new world for them, and fun for you.

My fee for an hour or so of instruction is fifty dollars. I will bring one of mine over as a demonstration and talk to you about the various steps to take. I can’t guarantee that your cat will learn to walk on a leash, but if it does your fifty will be well spent.

* Location: Minneapolis
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1396845130

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Originally Posted: Wed, 30 Sep 23:50 EDT
Need a volunteer to give me a vasectomy
Date: 2009-09-30, 11:50PM EDT

Well, I do have health insurance, believe it or not. But it’s useless to pay for a vasectomy, since I’m only 24. I’ve wanted one since I was 16. I have one kid already and don’t ever want another (though I love the one I have, of course). Anyway, my doctor said it would be impossible until I’m 30 or have 4 kids. I’m hoping I don’t have 4 kids before turning 30, but accidents happen.

Would you like to stop accidents? Perhaps you are Christian and you hate abortion more than anything. Well, I guarantee you will prevent more than one abortion by snipping my vas. Perhaps you’re a liberal and you hate seeing kids grow up in poverty. You get the drift.

Yes, this is a serious post. Please reply only if you have experience doing vasectomies, and you are willing to do one “pro-bono”.

P.S. I called Planned Parenthood already. They want $500.

* Location: philadelphia — germantown
* it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* it’s OK to distribute this charitable volunteerism opportunity for inclusion in 3rd party web sites that have been approved by craigslist